When Builder was born, he had a sleep disorder. It stayed with him through the first five years of his life. This affected not only his health, but also mine because who else is going to be up with him at all hours? My husband — an excellent father — had to sleep so he could work effectively. And of course Cyclone — an excellent brother — isn’t the one to be up with little brother.

Out of our entire house, Cyclone gets the best sleep. Thank you, God, for answering his prayer of so many years ago.
So while Builder couldn’t sleep well, I didn’t sleep well.

Then, about two years ago, things clicked for him. He started sleeping eight or so hours a night without interruption. It was wonderful. (I didn’t fare so well, but at least I got to rest during those hours when I was awake.)

Last summer, the sleep issues started back up again. Shortly after the aggression problems became a large concern, Builder began having difficulty falling and staying asleep.

It’s not that he won’t go to bed. He’s very good at that. He knows his bedtime and cuddles up with a book or iPod touch or Highlights magazine or his Doodlepad. He doesn’t give us grief about that as a rule. But he can’t fall asleep.

Not without a parent.

Now, we’ve tried different approaches to this, but they aren’t working, so at present, most nights (when my husband has to work the following day) I bring my Kindle or laptop to Builder’s bed and we stay together until he falls asleep.

Often, I doze off first. It isn’t easy, sharing a twin-size mattress with a growing eight-year-old, assorted pillows, blankets and stuffed toys, but we manage somehow. Eventually I wake up. Sometimes, he is still awake and I click on my Kindle again and continue to read. Sometimes, he’s finally asleep and I creep out of his room.

Only to find that he’s in with me and my husband within a few hours. Almost every morning.

We finally set him up a cushion, of sorts, at the foot of our bed, on the floor. A cushion, blanket and pillow. He is too big, I told him, to sleep in bed with his parents, but he can sleep on the floor if he feels he needs to. Just like his big brother did when he was eight.

Of course, Cyclone only did it for a few weeks, and only when he had nightmares. With Builder, it’s a chronic problem.

Something else to discuss with his psychiatrist. When we can get in to see him. In April.

*Shaking my head.* Good thing I have spent 35 years being an insomniac. Otherwise, I’d be a basket case by now.

Tags: Autism, insomnia, sleep