Builder goes through cycles, like pretty much all of us.  His, though, tend to lack moderation.

I don’t know what triggers these “I hate [fill in the blank]!” episodes, but when they come, they are fairly universal.  Just now, he hates school. Hates clothes.  Hates Florida.  And, of course, he hates church.

In our church, just now, there is a program for special needs children in the preschool ministry.  I found it to be less than successful, but then we were there at its inception and many bugs, I am sure, have been worked out this year.  We are now, though, in the children’s ministry, and there is no special needs program available for Builder and children like him.  Or adults like him, either.  Indeed, there was a young woman (in her late 20’s) who was brought in to sit in my classes just because…it was a place for her to go.  So her parents could worship.  She would sit in a chair, not interacting at all, and scoot away from the rest of the students until she was practically in the corner.  It was her choice to do that, and she would give me a little half-wave when her father came for her.  She is a fairly innocuous addition to any class.

Builder is not in this category.  We tried for half the year, but he was unable to manage the schedule of the Children’s Ministry rotation.  It seemed ideal, and it is for most kids in the first through third grades, but we believe it is unsettling to him. That, and his current aversion to odd numbers.  He refuses to go into many of the rooms because they have an odd number.  I am hoping that particular peculiarity dissipates!

Going to church, then, has meant that one of us tried to get Builder to stay in his room (with Mom or Dad with him the whole time) and have some participation in the activity without disrupting the class.  This has been only marginally successful. More often than not, the parent with Builder has walked with him during the duration of our worship time and then we all go home.

This is not a good thing.

So. I have had to stop teaching Sunday School.  We believe this will accomplish a couple of purposes.  1) Builder will have one parent on a consistent basis with him on Sunday mornings.  This should establish a sense of “normalcy” that might, maybe, eventually allow him to “mainstream” into a regular Sunday School schedule. 2) Spousal Unit and Cyclone will have a more consistent worship and Christian Education experience on Sunday mornings, which will benefit them muchly.

This morning, though, Builder is in an I HATE mode.  “I want HOME CHURCH” he declared yesterday.

I thought about it.  Said, “Okay. We can do that.”

Today, Spousal Unit and Cyclone went to worship at our church.  Builder and I stayed home, having “home church.” Actually, this was a good thing.  We studied the Bible (Jesus and the Little Children, Jesus and the Moneychangers, and Noah’s Ark) and prayed and talked.  Just the two of us.  And his mind would wend away from the topic, and I addressed that and then was able to steer him back to our Bible lesson(s).

And then, we had snack together.

An optimal solution? Doubtful. But I believe that the Word of the Lord will not go out without good result, and, maybe, the tailored lesson this week will plant seeds that will eventually enable him to manage a more normal Sunday School environment.

Even if it does not, this morning, my son had a Bible study during “church time.”  To me, that goes down as a successful Sunday morning.

Tags: Autism, Bible study, church, coping, God, management