Due to Builder’s public safety issues at school, we have put him on Homebound Education through the district for the time being, while he is under medical and psychological treatment.

That all sounds kind of intimidating, doesn’t it?

Today, we went to the psychologist. I’ll call her Dr. K’nex, because she’s got the coolest stuff in her office.   She and I catch up on the latest in the Life and Mind O’Builder before she has time just with him while I wait in the reception area.

What I thought was kind of sweet was that she is concerned for me. *smile* I don’t think I look any more frazzled than normal and I am not pale nor do I have really obvious circles under my eyes today.  She is just concerned that I am with my little Special Needs guy twenty-four seven without a respite. Much. Maybe a few hours in the wee sma’s, but that’s about it.

Thing is, I’ve done this before.  I have. I am convinced that God doesn’t send anything to us without providing the tools with which to handle it.  My life has included much more than my formal education (though that has helped) and I am fully convinced that God is able to pull me through this time, too.

I figure there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s not an oncoming train.  I feel that this will not go on forever.  Someday, my little guy will be able to better manage his anxiety issues.  Someday, he’ll get back to sleeping in a regular pattern. (Though why he should, when his own mom has a sleep problem, is beyond me.)  Someday, he’ll be back to school at least for part of the day and I will have time to myself again. And Dr. K’nex will not have to be concerned for my mental health as well as my son’s.

But until then, I’m hanging on.  And I’m going to try to get to the movies this weekend.  I was thinking of maybe An Education or The Book of Eli.

Or maybe I’ll just escape with my Kindle and head to the riverbank with some Chinese food with a silent salute to Dr. K’nex.

Tags: Autism, God, movies, sleep

Well, it wasn’t what I intended to do and I certainly am not doing it “for real,” but I also…am. Kinda-sorta.

Builder and his anxiety issues have necessitated removing him from school for the present. I am generally against medicating children’s behavioral issues, but – like many parents with firm principles without actual experience working them – I have come to think that it is the only way to get a handle on Builder’s anxiety responses.

So. He is on hospital homebound education. Which basically means he is under the care of physicians until he is able to properly return to school. Technically. In our case, it means that for the safety of himself and others (students and faculty) he is going to be educated at home until such time as we can find an appropriate medical/medicinal assist to smooth over his initial panic response to just about anything that freaks him out.

What provokes such a response? Changing “specials” on a school day. Being overlooked by another child when he wants to answer a question. Having to choose only from choices given and not his own (often outlandish) choice. Not getting to be line-leader. Not getting to choose apples at lunch when apples aren’t even on the menu. A substitute teacher. A change in therapy times. Spilling water from the drinking fountain. A pencil breaking.

All of these and a hundred other circumstances stimulate the amphibian brain, his psychologist says. The survival mechanism. The fight-or-flight adrenal flow.

Which on a child with a regularly processing brain, could be discussed, worked through, with proper behavioral rewards and consequences. But with my son and his autistic exceptionality, these discussions are largely fruitless.  It isn’t that he’s stupid or slow…rather it’s that he can’t see the advantages, really, of choosing to behave appropriately to a situation. He will NOT be manipulated by rewards or consequences.

And this can be, at bottom, a good thing.

However, he still needs to be able to function with a group of other people without wanting them to die every time he is annoyed.  And until he can see that he can behave that way and that this is a good and desirable way, he will continue to try to control situations through the use of his strength and temper.  Which is unacceptable.

So back to where I began this lengthy post…

My son hasn’t been in school since the day before the last day before Winter Break. He has been at home, with me, being educated.  Though I have asked for work from school for him, it hasn’t been forthcoming.  We have had to process paperwork to get the homebound education program rolling, and that’s taken weeks.  So I’ve been teaching him from home.

Actually, it has in many ways been much less stressful. If I could be assured of his proper assessment at the end of the year, I would consider just taking him out of school entirely for the rest of this year. However, he can’t really take the FCAT and I am not equipped to handle all the things on his IEP, so I am leaving him enrolled in school.  I’m just currently the one making his lessons.  While we wait for a teacher to come.

One was all set to come this past week…at last…but… She became ill and so was unable to come meet us and get started.  There’s no school this coming Monday or Tuesday, so I am hoping that Builder will finally get back on track later this week.

This will likely last until May, since we cannot get in to see a child psychiatrist/prescribing M.D. until mid-April and then we’ll have to see what kind of medical treatment we can find to help Builder work through his anger/anxiety issues.

And maybe…just maybe…  he’ll level out and we can try school again.

Tags: Autism, education, homeschooling